DaveJays Blog

Life, Love & Happiness

JUL 12th 2008 • 2 Comments

I've been thinking a lot recently about my life, happiness, and yes, that mushy topic we all love.... love. I'm rather secluded being a freelancer. I've always been somewhat of an introvert. For the most part, I like to keep to myself. And I feel I've been able to really refine my craft as a result, It's also given me more time to focus on my relationship with God.

A wise man once said, "I'm just a bug on the road of life".... I bet someone wise said that at one point in time anyway.

My thoughts on where I'm at

I graduated from East Tennessee State University in December of 07 and now I'm pursuing a freelance career in web design. I feel like that's what God has given me to do and I'm gonna do it as best I can and trust in Him to direct my path from there. But that leaves me completely uncertain as to what the road looks like ahead.

I'd like very much to meet a nice girl, marry, and settle down somewhere and lead a nice life together, maybe throw in a white picket fence for kicks. That would be wonderful, but right now that's not looking very practical. Simply put, I don't get out much. I don't know really know anybody locally outside of my church, and I work at home. Sometimes it can be frustrating. But I know that if it's God's will for me to get married, He's working in her heart and mine for the day that we'll be together. And the best thing I can do right now is just set my heart on Christ alone.

Yes, I'd like Him to answer all the questions I have and provide me with all the deepest longings of my heart, but what kind of father would *I* be if I simply gave my kids everything they asked for? God has blessed me with so much already that I don't deserve. He's saved me from myself, without Him I'd be a depraved scumbag and doomed to an eternity apart from Him. Does that mean I should be happy and content with what I have? I think it does. Does that mean I *am* happy and content with what I have? Not all the time. I want to live the ideal life as much as the next guy, but not everyone gets an ideal life. Life isn't always fair in our eyes, and many people go all the way through it chasing after love and happiness until they die after having never found it.

So what's the point?

Why try? All I know is, if I have to go through life, I want it to be in pursuit of something greater than myself or my wants and desires. I want it to be in full pursuit of God. He's the only thing in the universe that I know without a doubt is attainable, because through a work of his grace, I died to my old self on the cross with Him. He reached out to me and pulled me out of the darkness I was in. And to him all praise and glory should be given. I certainly don't want any of it.

This doesn't mean I'm on cloud nine all the time, sometimes it's really really hard. And following Christ will probably make it that much harder. But I know He's worth living for. I owe him everything. And while being in love with someone special is a great thing, if God's grace is not recognized in that, what lasting value does it have?

In a nutshell...

I'd very much like to fall in love and get married someday, but that's not where I want my gaze to be as I look towards the future. Because that would only serve to take my eyes off of Christ. If He should decide to bring someone into my life, I'll thank God for her and we can gaze on Christ together. That's what I hope for.

posted in: God | Life |